By: Somto Ezepue
Day 1 – 14: On fire for God, praying and studying the word like no man’s business, enjoying fellowship.
Day 15 – 18: Gradual weariness. No ginger
Day 19 – 22: Gradual Manifestation of old habits (maybe)
Day 23 till whenever ‘your eye clear’: Feelings of condemnation and struggle to return to your first love.
Who else can relate with this kind of cycle? While the above is not a standard for how the Christian journey can be, I’m sure we can all relate to a measure, how inconsistent our various walks with God can be. If you cannot relate, please come lay hands on me 🤧🤧 just kidding.
The above illustration is not even limited to DIVAs, it’s a real thing out there for every believer. It used to frustrate me so much that I began to ask myself if it was really possible to always be in the Spirit or be like Jesus?
The word of God, to me, was becoming really far fetched because I couldn’t understand how Paul would say we should continually be filled with the Spirit when it seemed so impossible to practice. This cycle always discouraged my heart but one beautiful thing I have learnt over time is that God through the apostles or prophets will not say something in the scriptures if it was impossible to attain. So what am I saying in essence? I am saying that it is possible to always be in the Spirit regardless of how we may be feeling per time.
It’s good for us to know that it is not in the FEELINGS, our experience and relationship with God is by faith and not by sight. It’s not a bad thing to have goose bumps in worship or have all those nice feelings when you are actively fellowshipping with God but one thing I have learnt overtime is that we cannot build our relationship with God solely on feelings. As the Bible says, we live by faith and not by sight. I may not always feel like it but I must trust God to continue.
I have also found that the gradual weariness of heart as shown in Day 15 usually comes when we start relaxing with regards to the things of God. It happens when we somehow start to feel like we have done enough to keep us standing so we can rest for a while but dear DIVA, the devil is a full time adversary so we honestly cannot afford to be part-time believers because he would look for a moment of weakness to come in. Do not give the enemy a foothold and he that thinks he stands ought to be careful lest he falls.
Even Paul kept telling himself that He had not attained so he kept on pressing towards the mark of the high calling of God. As long as we are on this earth, the temptations to walk in iniquity will always arise so there should never be a time when we feel like we have gotten there if God has not said so, the call is to keep pressing in till we can no longer turn our backs on God – this is what it means to come into the fullness of the stature of Christ unto a perfect man.
Weariness can also arise when we are not actively guarding our hearts or filtering the thoughts that come around us with the word of God.
In those moments of weariness, it’s good for us not to give up. One thing I always do when I start to sense a drag is to start praying immediately, asking the Holy Ghost to help me identify where that feeling is coming from – I could even go as far as journaling about it, writing my feelings help me a lot. Submitting my feelings to friends of like minds and my mentors/pastors help me even better because when I can’t really discern what is happening with me, they are there to put me back on track.
The whole point is that whenever we begin to sense a drag in our devotion to God, let’s not just go with the flow, we don’t have to wait till we have started going back to old habits before we realize that there is a problem. Let us fight to keep the atmosphere of the Spirit still and with time, we would get better. Sometimes, after I have prayed I feel much better but other times even after I have prayed, I don’t feel better at all but one thing I have learnt to do is WAR and when I mean war, I mean a spiritual war. So even when I don’t feel better, I listen to spiritual songs, sermons, try to engage my friends of like minds continually. I basically try to incline my ears to hearing and hearing the word of God even when I don’t feel like it because the truth is, your feelings will eventually catch up. Faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God.
I will conclude with this; We have a merciful and faithful High Priest, Jesus Christ the son of God. Jesus can relate with our infirmities and struggles because he experienced them. He knows what it feels like and this is why he ceases not to advocate for us night and day before God. He knows and understands how this world can pull us, he gets it, he experienced this but he knew better not to sin but we don’t really know better and He is helping us know better.
Honestly, sometimes I am not convinced of this because Jesus strikes me as one perfect person, like how could these tempting thoughts come and you did not fall. God was showing us something through Jesus. He was showing us a pattern man and how possible it is for a man to always be in tune with God’s will. Temptations arose but Jesus was so in tune to not fall. God is showing us that it is not far fetched. A man can come into this lifestyle in the days of his flesh. Don’t let Satan lie to you.
I implore us today DIVAs, to approach God’s throne of grace today where there is mercy and grace to help in time of need. Take that step today! If you fall into the Day 1-14 category, keep the fire burning, guard your heart, and keep building yourself in the most Holy faith.
One thing is common between all of us, regardless of the category we fall into and that is “the warfare to keep the faith”. We are all fighting the same battle. If you are on fire for God, the enemy is somewhere around the corner trying to make you fall. If somehow you have fallen, the enemy is around the corner to ensure you don’t get up and continue with God cos he knows that if a little light shines on your heart, you would return to your first love. Any which way, our strength must be in the Lord and in the power of His might. We should also remember that we have a great cloud of witnesses who have gone through this life and are cheering us on to ensure that we get to the end and we will get there – not by power nor might but by God’s spirit.
Till next time; DIVAs! Grace & Peace be multiplied.